Music Monday: “Can’t Save Myself” by As It Is

“Can’t Save Myself” by As It Is 

I can’t help the way my mind is hardwired to hate myself
‘Cause I swear that this is hell
The way I desperately try to save myself
‘Cause I can’t save myself
A single breath (in empty lungs)
That’s all I got left (gasping for air)
And a bad idea branded in my brain I can’t seem to shake
Another day (in tired skin)
I shed and fray (far from desire)
‘Til all I am is textbook misery and my own mistakes
And as I’ve aged the only thing I think has changed
Is that the demons have moved from under my bed
Into the inner depths of my head
I can’t escape the ugly things my mind creates
I speculate that they’ll stay with my ’til the grave
In broken bones (a half-hearted smile)
I feel at home (I’m proud of nothing)
I tend to get attached so quick to all I’ve ever known
But I don’t seem to know a single fucking thing that can save me
I’m my own worst enemy
Is there any hope for me?
I’m the boy who chose not to grow up and now I’m unprepared for anything
Now I’m scared and I’m cold and alone because the world grew up without me
(Is there any hope for me?)

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Book Review: The Night We Said Yes by Lauren Gibaldi

Genre: 

Young Adult, visit web Contemporary, Romance

Pages: 

304 pages

Part of a Series?:

Standalone Novel

Release Date: 

June 16th, 2015

You Can Find the Book At:

GoodReads

Barnes and Noble

Book Depository

iBooks

Author Website

GoodReads Summary: 

Before Matt, Ella had a plan. Get over a no-good ex-boyfriend. Graduate from high school without any more distractions. Move away from Orlando, Florida, where she’s lived her entire life.

But Matt—the cute, shy, bespectacled bass player who just moved to town—was never part of that plan.

And neither was attending a party that was crashed by the cops just minutes after they arrived. Or spending an entire night saying “yes” to every crazy, fun thing they could think of.

Then Matt abruptly left town, and he broke not only Ella’s heart but those of their best friends, too. So when he shows up a year later with a plan of his own—to relive the night that brought them together—Ella isn’t sure whether Matt’s worth a second chance. Or if re-creating the past can help them create a different future.

My Review:

 

Dear Owl Crate,

Thank you SO SO SO much for putting this in your July box. Seriously. Thank you. I had never heard of it before I found it in my box, and it sounded so good and I knew that I had to dive into it. And I’m so glad I did.

This book was SO fabulous and awesome and so good and I’m so excited for it, and I just kind of want to shove it in everyone’s faces, like, guys, this is Lauren’s debut novel and its wonderful and you need to read it.

First off, her voice is just great. She writes in alternate voices between the Ella in the past and the Ella of the present, same character but she writes them so perfectly. Its the same person both times, but you can see the growth and the change and all of that between the two and I think that’s a really hard thing to figure out, and she does it just beautifully. I was hooked on both versions of Ella super fast.

Plus its a summer novel. It has the big summer feel to it, you know? When you get out of school and everything seems possible. Summer is this huge blank slate and all you can think about is how beautiful and open and blank it is and how its just going to be the best summer ever. And you get that in both of the summer nights we see in this book. I love that. I don’t get that feeling as much as I did when I was younger and didn’t have to work and all that so its nice to get that feeling in the form of a book.

And its just a great story. Matt and Ella, Jake and Mia, and everyone they encounter in their crazy adventure? Its just great. I love them all. They’re all flushed out, and you put them together and they just create this beautiful story. Its high school and its romance and its uncertainty and its mistakes and running around, doing stupid things, and I miss that sort of thing sometimes. Its just a great story. First love, adventures, I loved every single moment of it.

Thank you Owl Crate, you sold me as a fan of Lauren Gibaldi. This book was incredible and I can’t wait for more to come out. I’m anxiously awaiting.

Rating: 

4.5 out of 5 Stars

Book Review: Catching Jordan by Miranda Kenneally

Genre: 

Young Adult, online Contemporary, cialis 40mg Romance

Pages: 

283 pages

Part of a Series?:

Book #1 of the Hundred Oaks Series

Release Date: 

December 1st, 2011

You Can Find the Book At:

GoodReads

Barnes and Noble

Book Depository

iBooks

Author Website

GoodReads Summary: 

What girl doesn’t want to be surrounded by gorgeous jocks day in and day out? Jordan Woods isn’t just surrounded by hot guys, though-she leads them as the captain and quarterback of her high school football team. They all see her as one of the guys and that’s just fine. As long as she gets her athletic scholarship to a powerhouse university.

But everything she’s ever worked for is threatened when Ty Green moves to her school. Not only is he an amazing QB, but he’s also amazingly hot. And for the first time, Jordan’s feeling vulnerable. Can she keep her head in the game while her heart’s on the line?

My Review:

 

I had a lot of incredibly high hopes for this novel. Really high hopes. When I heard it was about a girl that plays football and is goal driven on football and it had romance as she kind of falls in love for the first time…I was so sold. Especially since the rest of the series follows a bunch of other sports.

We know how I get when it comes to sports novels.

And I was just disappointed with the book. I loved the character of Jordan and I super loved the character of Sam Henry but honestly, no one else really sold the book for me. The concept was definitely there, and its what kept me turning the pages. It had a ton of potential. The story was there. You have Jordan struggling to prove herself as a girl quarterback, especially with her famous quarterback dad, and she wants them to take her seriously, but she also is a girl and has feelings for boys too and its HARD. The potential is there and I think that’s why the book was such a disappointment to me. It was RIGHT THERE.

The biggest issue I had with the book was that it was so incredibly rushed. Everything felt rushed and I had a hard time keeping up with everything. The writing felt rushed, the feelings, the story, the character development, all of it. It was like whiplash sometimes. The writing just felt like it was rushed. I wanted the author to slow down at times and just let me enjoy getting to know the characters and that sort of thing. Often times, I just felt nothing because I didn’t feel like I was given the chance to really care. It all happened too fast.

I’m definitely going to be reading book #2 because I always like to give an author another chance but I’m going in with less expectations than I had for the first book, especially since book two is that magical sport, baseball. Wish me luck!

Rating: 

3.75 out of 5 Stars

Book Review: How to Love by Katie Cotugno

22693175Genre: 

Young Adult, ed Contemporary, Romance

Pages: 

389 pages


Part of a Series?:

Standalone Novel

Release Date: 

October 1st, 2013

You Can Find the Book At:

GoodReads

Barnes and Noble

Book Depository

iBooks

Author Website

GoodReads Summary: 

Before:
Reena Montero has loved Sawyer LeGrande for as long as she can remember: as natural as breathing, as endless as time. But he’s never seemed to notice that Reena even exists until one day, impossibly, he does. Reena and Sawyer fall in messy, complicated love. But then Sawyer disappears from their humid Florida town without a word, leaving a devastated—and pregnant—Reena behind.

After:
Almost three years have passed, and there’s a new love in Reena’s life: her daughter, Hannah. Reena’s gotten used to being without Sawyer, and she’s finally getting the hang of this strange, unexpected life. But just as swiftly and suddenly as he disappeared, Sawyer turns up again. Reena doesn’t want anything to do with him, though she’d be lying if she said Sawyer’s being back wasn’t stirring something in her. After everything that’s happened, can Reena really let herself love Sawyer LeGrande again?

My Review:

 

I have to admit…I was pretty wary when it came to reading this book. Not that I thought it was going to be bad. I try to go into a book with as positive attitude as possible because I find if I expect it to be not so good, it tends to be…not so good. But I’ve heard such mixed reviews! People either love or they hate it, and those kind of books make me nervous because seriously, I always tend to end up in the “hate it” category. Well, my friend Alex of People Like Books convinced me to read it and I bought it in anticipation of meeting her at RT and…well I’m glad I did it.

The book is weird. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t know how to explain it but the way its written, with the flashbacks, its just weird. Like, I think you’re supposed to like Sawyer, you’re supposed to be rooting for him when he comes crashing back into Reena’s life but the flashbacks showcase what went wrong in the past and sometimes its incredibly hard to get past that. For Reena, its been years, she’s moved on, he’s changed, that sort of thing, but for the reader, its still kind of fresh and new so that was hard for me.

But what made this story the story that I grew to love was Reena and her family and her daughter. It felt familiar because I’ve had a similar story (won’t go into much more detail there, sorry) so it was an immediate connection there. But there’s something about her that makes you want to root for her. She works her ass off, she loves her daughter, she tries so hard to please everyone and falls short, and she is still hopeful and she still believes. I think its so great.

Because of Reena, I believe in Reena and Sawyer and that’s why I fall in love with them and their relationship. Reena is an incredible character and I want to root for her and her daughter and her dream to travel everywhere and write about it and I believe in Sawyer wanting to make things work and I really did love it. I love the dynamic of the two and I loved that we had a romance wrapped around a couple that had a baby. Its beautiful. There just isn’t enough of that.

Rating: 

4 out of 5 Stars

Tuesday Top Ten – Things You Should Know Before Getting a Fandom Tattoo

I know that its been awhile since I’ve done a Tuesday Top Ten and I feel bad about that. I’ve been so busy and I’m glad to be back and with such a fun topic. I love tattoos. I love getting them, information pills I love having them and I love showing them off. I admit, buy summer is usually my favorite time of the year because I don’t have to bundle up and cover it and my tattoos can be seen. I love when people see them, healing and I really love that I can see them. I get them for myself first and foremost, so I love having them show.

That being said! I’ve had a lot of people come to me and ask me for advice over the past few years, and I thought, you know what, I’m going to do a Tuesday Top Ten talking about getting a tattoo and the things you should know!

1. Research Your Artist

This seems like a common sense to me, but you’d be surprised how many people just don’t do this. Its important to feel comfortable with the person that you’re getting a tattoo from. They should have a good reputation, work in a clean tattoo shop, and all of that sort of thing. But they also should be on the same page as you when it comes to your vision and what you want. Not all tattoo artists are the same! I use the same artist for a good chunk of my tattoos but I know that I won’t always be going to him, because there might be some tattoos that he might not feeling comfortable doing. Do your research for sure!

This is also important: be VERY clear on what you want. Bring pictures, examples, all of that. Make sure you and your artist are on the same page about what you want. Vague descriptions, “I don’t really know what I want”, that sort of thing is just frustrating to an artist. Give them something and work together to create something that you’re going to love and that they feel 100% comfortable tattooing.

2. More Money, Better Quality

Again, should be common sense. But again, people don’t put the time to think about this. You’re going to be spending a good amount of money. Most shops have a minimum of about 60 to 80 dollars, no matter how small the tattoo is. Please be aware of that. Your tattoo artist, for the most part, is not trying to rip you off. You are definitely going to get what you paid for, so pay more! You are spending money on the quality of the tattoo and this should be incredibly important to you as its going to be on your body forever!

3. Put Some Time and Thought Into It

This is huge to me. I don’t believe that every single tattoo on your body should have some deep soulful meaning. I don’t. I think tattoos can be there just because you want them, or just because you appreciate the artistic value of them. Either way, you still should think before you get one. Put some thought into it, especially if its a fandom tattoo. Is this something you want on your body forever? Is it something that, even if you don’t like later, you can look back onto fondly? I may not always love the book series I’ve permanently etched on my skin but right now, they mean so much to me and I’ll remember that when I’m older. Give some thought to what you want!

4. Location!

THIS IS HUGE! This is incredibly huge and you need to think about this. The location is incredibly important when getting a tattoo. One, you need to make sure that you have enough space available for what you’re hoping to get tattooed. Don’t think you can get something huge on your arm if you have noodle arms. Be realistic.

You also have to think of it because of potential job situations. I would never judge anyone who has visible tattoos…I have plenty! But if you’re looking to go into something that looks down on visible tattoos (though I think that’s becoming more and more rare), you need to weigh how much you want your tattoo in that location versus how important that career choice is for you. You should also keep in mind that while a job might be okay with a visible tattoo, do you want to present a huge Pikachu on your bicep to the people you will be interacting with at work.

Lastly, you need to think of the pain. That’ll be covered more below but location is huge when it comes to pain and pain tolerance.

5. Its Going to Hurt

Yup. It is. Don’t let anyone tell you that its not. Tattoo artists use anywhere from one to many needles at one time, and yes, they’re stabbing at your skin over and over again.

What’s great about this is…I personally think its not nearly as bad as people make it out to be, at least in the locations that I’ve gotten tattoos so far. Some areas hurt more than others. Places that are more muscly or bony tend to hurt more. My thigh and ankle were the worst places for me and I keep putting off my rib tattoo because I’m not quite sure I can handle it. But all of my other tattoos were mildly painful but definitely tolerable. Be aware of this. Know which locations hurt more than others when deciding where to get your tattoo and keep that in mind. If you have a low pain tolerance, I wouldn’t suggest getting your tattoo in a spot where its going to be incredibly painful! That or be very prepared to feel that pain. In the end, for me, the pain is always worth it because of the beautiful piece of artwork left behind. Also! Talk to your artist; they will take breaks, and give your skin a breather if that’s what you need!

6. Trust Your Artist!

Yes please do! These people have spent years doing what they do. They must apprentice and learn all the different aspects of tattooing and running a tattoo shop. They draw and draw and draw and practice and practice and practice before they even tattoo somebody. This is a trade, just like any other trade that has to spend time learning and they know best. If they suggest something, you need to listen. This is why researching your artist is very important. Find someone who sees your vision and gives it to you in a very practical way. This is not only going on your body, but this is something that is under their belt and they want to be proud of it. They know better than we do. Of course, don’t give up everything you want! Just like with everything, there is a compromise. Listen to your artist, tell them what you want and work together to come up with the best tattoo for you!

7. Tips, Tips, Tips

Its so simple: tip your artist. They work hard! They draw out the design for you, they make sure its on straight, which canNOT be an easy task, and they spend a lot of time, hours, multiple sessions, bent over, making sure your tattoo comes out perfect. Its simple. Just tip them. They deserve it!

8. There is Long Term Care

Please remember this! You don’t just get to walk out of a tattoo shop, and wham, you’re done. There’s a lot of care going into a tattoo. When you first get it, you need to do everything your artist tells you to do in order to make sure it heals right. Keep it out of the sun, lotion it up, all that good stuff. This is important to make sure that it heals correctly. But also remember, after it heals, you still need to take care of it! Sunscreen will keep it safe from sunburns and fading, and lotioning it up will make it look shiny, and soft and new! Also keep in mind that you will be putting more money into that tattoo over the years, to keep it looking fresh! Touch ups are necessary. Tattoos are something you need to care for, so its definitely something you need to keep in mind!

9. Its Addicting 

People always joke, oh tattoos are so addicting. I remember laughing and thinking, no way! I just want a few and I’m good at that. Fourteen tattoos and a million more ideas later…and I would agree with that assessment. I’m not saying that’s going to be you! But do keep in mind that you just might be bit by the tattoo bug. I’m happy to be a part of the club though, so if you do get a little addicted, there’s nothing wrong with that. Remember: its your body!

10. Be Confident

This one I put on here especially because of fandom tattoos. People are NOT going to understand. Fandom people will and its awesome to get compliments on my Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Star Wars and other nerdy tattoos. It really is. But not everyone is going to think that. Now maybe I’ve had bad experiences with it. I’ve had people judging me, making fun of me, telling me I’m going to regret getting Harry Potter tattoos and all sorts of just mean and negative things, but here’s what I’m going to tell you: who cares? Be confident. If you are happy and satisfied with your tattoo, rock it! Its your body, not anyone else’s and you are the one that should be happy with it. It does suck to have someone tear you down for something like that but I look at my tattoos and I see how awesome they are and I love where they are and all of that and I rock it. I remember that this is my body and not theirs and I’m happy with them. If you’re happy with what you have put on your body, then that’s all that matters…and to me, it makes it that much easier to not have any regret about them.

*      *      *      *      *

So those are my ten little bits of advice about getting a fandom tattoo…or any tattoo really. I will never pretend to be an expert but after fourteen tattoos, I am more and more comfortable when going under the needle. I am always here for advice or any of that, and if you live around me, I’m always always always up for a trip to the tattoo parlor!

Happy Tuesday everyone! Don’t forget to share your awesome tattoos with me!