Hello friends. It’s been some time since I wrote a blog post because, honestly, this last week has been a true whirlwind of emotions. The last thing I talked about was the announcement of the Vampire Academy TV show and then my world truly blew up in my face…I was laid off from a job that I’d had for nearly three years, a job that I loved and a company that I truly enjoyed working for and had a lot of respect for. This completely came out of left field last Friday, the 21st, so I’ve pretty much spent the last week, cycling through the stages of grief.

Because its definitely felt like grief! This job was the first job I’ve truly enjoyed since I worked at Disneyland six years ago and while I knew the business was struggling, I think I had assumed we would all just weather through the storm together. Instead, my position was eliminated and I was let go. I still feel like I’m reacting to it all. I was barely able to celebrate What A Nerd Girl Says’ 9th blogversary the other day because I was just so distracted. I went from having a full time job to absolutely nothing but stress and worry about paying my rent, my car payment, my bills, my needs like food and all the saving we’ve been doing for our wedding next year.

It’s interesting though. I don’t believe in the sort of “everything happens for a reason” or “its meant to be” kind of stuff. If I want something, I go after it. I don’t wait for the universe to decide for me – I make it happen. When I bought my car last year, I hunted it down and MADE SURE I could buy it. I remember my dad and fiance telling me, if its meant to be, it will happen. I hate that. I bought my new car because I was tenacious and maybe a little irritating and I made it happen. So I’m not one to see signs or believe that the universe is guiding me or anything like that.

That being said – I’ve always wanted to return to working at Disneyland. I loved working there all those years ago and I was sad when I was let go, even though it truly was my own doing. I’ve been trying and trying and trying to get a job there since then, but my tattoos have made it hard for me (even though I had tattoos when I worked there but I digress…). With Disney changing their policy on things like tattoos, I knew it was time to try and go back. Of course, when you first are hired at Disney, you are hired part time and this girl is used to a full time salary. So the plan was to get rehired part time and work my way to full time and keep my job in the meantime…or just stay at both, if possible. A job opening popped up on Thursday night, I applied and crossed my fingers.

I had no idea I would be laid off less than 12 hours later. Now, I know what you’re thinking – that’s the reason I was laid off. Believe me, I considered it too. But its not. It’s a wild and crazy coincidence and after speaking with my direct supervisors on the day of my layoff and the CEO a few days later, I truly do believe my layoff was nothing personal and just a business related decision, though a very sad one. Not going into my job this week, not knowing how my coworkers are, not knowing how my nurses or patients are doing – it was much harder to deal with than I expected.

Suddenly, though, I was left with – okay, I don’t just want this job with Disney, oh god, I NEED it. I was lucky enough to get my final paycheck and a small severance and I’m eligible for unemployment but oh my god, now what?

This is where I feel like – maybe things were just meant to happen this way. I applied for Disney on a complete whim on Thursday, lost my job on Friday, had a web based interview on Friday night and was scheduled for a Zoom interview on Tuesday, where I was offered a job to return to the Disneyland Resort.

It’s insane. Absolutely insane.

There’s still so much to figure out. I went from a full time job salary, plus extras, and am going to a part time job, no benefits, none of the stuff I’ve been accustomed to in the past three years. My lifestyle is different and I became very used to the salary I was making, in order to pay all my bills. A part time job at Disneyland will need SOMETHING else to go along with it, so that I can maintain the lifestyle I laid out for myself. And by lifestyle, I mean just being able to pay my rent and car payment and set aside some money for my wedding!

But all that being said – I’m just SO full of emotion! I’m sad and heartbroken about leaving behind a job and a company that I really loved and felt connected to. I feel like I’ve lost a loved one or that I’m going through a really rough breakup. I’ll be fine when I’m distracted and then suddenly, I remember, and it hurts and I remember that I’ll never be walking into that office again and it just sucks. There’s no other eloquent way to say it – it just absolutely blows.

On the other hand, I’m so happy to be returning to the happiest place on earth. I have never loved a job like I loved that one and I have been wanting to return for six years now. I was all smiles when the recruiter offered me the job and I’ve been doing all my onboarding and drug screening and all that stuff, in order to get started as soon as I can, which is in about two weeks.

In the meantime, I’m trying to enjoy this time to myself, without the pressure of having to wake up to go to work each day. I’ve worked pretty consistently since I was 17 years old and only take vacation time to go ON vacation so its been quite some time since I’ve had this kind of freedom. I’ve been rearranging my bookshelves, selling stuff on Mercari, decluttering, binging stuff on Netflix and such, hanging out with friends and trying and absolutely failing at sleeping in – my body is too used to waking up at 530 am LOL.

All of this to say – I know I’ve been quiet on the blog lately but it was all for good reason and I’m hoping that with all this change comes more commitment to the blog and to you guys! I love writing here and its been a wonderful nine years of sharing all things nerdy and bookish with you all. If you haven’t had a chance, head to my Instagram and look for the 9 year giveaway – I’m giving away a Kindle Fire to a lucky winner.

Love you all! Thank you, as always, for sticking with me.