Today, I’m here to talk to you about love. Yes, love. I’m talking kisses and hugs, and forever, and all that stuff. Love. True Love.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and claim that I know everything about love, because I definitely do not. I love my boyfriend sooooo much and we have been together for nearly five years. But we learn every day how to make our relationship work and how to make it better. And it’s not easy, but it is most definitely worth it. I will never know 100% about love…or even a 100% about my boyfriend…but that’s the best part, it keeps things new and, like I said, its completely worth it.
But I will say one thing.
True love? Yeah, it doesn’t exist.
Did I break your heart with that one? I hope not. Here’s what I’m saying: I don’t believe in that one true love. I love my boyfriend incredibly much, and one day in the near-ish future, we’re going to get married and its going to be great. But he’s not the only guy I’ve ever had in my life. And let’s get this straight: he’s not perfect. He’s perfect for me, but in no way, is he perfect. And that’s okay. Because neither am I. I am DEFINITELY not perfect.
But I think people tend to get this idea in their heads…and I mean mostly girls. They get this idea in their head of perfect boys, who open doors and talk on the phone all night and go to the store and buy tampons for them and so on and so forth. They expect to find this PERFECT speciman of man and when they don’t, they’re so angry and they say things like “waiting for prince charming” and they pine after fictional characters.
Believe me, I know. I used to be one of those girls. And being like that…it just leads you to disappointment.
You’re probably wondering why I’m on this rant. Its because of this extremely popular trend that has been going on in young literature, one that has been driving me insane…and it’s called the love triangle.
I am so tired of Team So-and-So. I used to be into that stuff. I still am for the most part. Sure, I wanted Jace over Simon in the Mortal Instruments. Sure, I want Will over Jem in the Infernal Devices. Sure, I wanted Peeta over Gale in Hunger Games. Sure, sure, sure.
But that’s not WHY I read the books. I read the books because Clary is a badass who invents runes and throws herself into every fight even if she’s not prepared for it. I read because Tessa is being chased by a man who keeps creating automatons and she doesn’t even know what she is: a warlock, a Shadowhunter or what. I read Hunger Games because Katniss is a badass with a bow, and she survives the Hunger Games…twice!
But I feel like a lot more of the girlies out there care about those stories. And it drives me crazy. Because now, if I pick up a book and it starts to involve a love triangle, I’m done. I’m over it. Before, I could handle it. Now, it seems like its a necessary element of young adult literature. You can’t write a young adult book without having the opportunity for Team So-and-So and its annoying!
Because, there is just so much more to a story than two guys pining after a girl, especially when the girl is being all whiny , “I can’t choose.” God, shut up. There’s shit going down and all you can think about is what boy to choose. Maybe you should either choose one and get over it already or let the boys do their job, like demon hunting or whatever, and stop distracting them.
The fact is, this literary “element” (and I put that in quotes because seriously, its a plot device that gets so damn old) is old and tiring but girls (and some boys) continue to fall all over it. Over and over and over and over again.
And then there’s my other problem with love in young adult fiction. It creates unbelievable expectations for what a boyfriend should be like, or what a relationship should be like.
Take example from pictures like this:
I mean, Jace Wayland is hot, especially when using those blades to kill people and stuff but I love my boyfriend wayyy more
Sure, except they aren’t real…
Of course they are. They aren’t real.
You need to lower your impossible standards because…guess what? They aren’t real.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Most of you have read my post on my favorite, hottest fictional guys. There are characters that make my blood boil, that I get all hot and bothered for, that say wonderful things that make me sigh.
But they aren’t real! If Jace Wayland existed, I would alternately be extremely attracted to his sexiness and badass Shadowhunter skills and annoyed at how extremely emo and dramatic he is. I would want to punch Peeta in the face, telling him to just have some balls and stand up to me already. I would be annoyed at the Doctor’s inability to understand humanity, because he doesn’t always understand. I would be annoyed at the things they said.
And I know that real love…it’s not like the love that’s in books. You’re not going to have those perfect relationships where its true love and its going to last forever, no matter how impossible it is, no matter the crazy, insane circumstances. You can find love, and it’ll be great, but it’s not fairy tale and it takes work.
Being with Jon taught me that. I was waiting for a fictional boy but I got a real one. And I’ll tell you what? It’s sooooo much better.
And I just feel like girls are holding out for something that doesn’t exist. Girls see faults in boys and either don’t go for them or dump them. And that’s extremely unfair. I mean, I’m not saying stay with a boy if he cheats on you or treats you badly…but we have to accept the imperfections of people.
So I don’t know, I’m over the constant love triangle, the constant need for romance to be the key point in novels. Most of the books I read do have romance in it, but it’s not the whole point and it seems like more and more, that is the point. I get tired of reading books and loving it and then a love triangle gets thrown in and I want to throw the book across the room. (I’m looking at you, Lauren Oliver, you were fine until you introduced the love triangle in Pandemonium).
I’m going all over the place with this post. The point is, the love triangle is getting old. Tragic, over-the-top, ridiculous, unrealistic love doesn’t exist. Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Jace Wayland, Will Herondale, Simon Lewis, Jem Carstairs, the Salvatore brothers, Tobias, Peeta Mellark, Gale Hawthorne, Finnick Odair, and so on…they aren’t real. They’ll never be real and there isn’t one guy in this world that are like them because they aren’t real.
Boys make mistakes. They say stupid things and they sometimes don’t call and they play too much video games or ignore you in favor of their friends. They forget your birthday or your anniversary. They drive too fast or they drive too slow, they have horrible taste in music. They don’t always say the sweetest, most romantic things. They don’t love you right away. They are imperfect. But so are you, and when you find someone to love, you find someone who puts up with all your imperfections like you put up with theirs.
And I’m hoping that things get better. As much as I enjoy a good love story, I’m hoping we get more books like The Demon King by Cinda Williams Chima, or the Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus series or the Tortall books. All of these books have romance…but they aren’t qualified as romance and they’re amazing. They should be our best young adult literature.
Because I’m really tired of the negative views toward young adult literature.
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