Every year, October 11th is celebrated as National Coming Out Day. This day is always beautiful to me because not only do I see so many people taking the brave steps to come out but I also see so many allies reaching out and letting people know that they are safe to come out to.
I didn’t come out on National Coming Out Day. My own sexuality was very confusing to me for a really long time because I figured out I was bisexual while in a long term relationship with the person that I genuinely thought I was going to marry. It didn’t make sense to me to have this revelation about being bisexual – to me, it felt like…why did it matter? I told my boyfriend, my best friend, but mostly kept it to myself.
It wasn’t until National Coming Out Day 2012 that I felt like I understood. It didn’t matter that I was in a relationship with a man – I was still bisexual and I wanted to be true to myself by sharing that. It was a pivotal part of who I was and who I was with had no effect on that. It doesn’t matter if I’m single, with a man or with a woman – at the end of the day, I’m still bisexual.
I still didn’t come out right away though. I grew up in a Catholic conservative family so that scared me. I also had heard so many people say that bisexuality wasn’t “real” and I didn’t know anyone else who was so I was scared and insecure.
Coming Out Day 2012 – I don’t know, I don’t have specific memories but I do remember feeling empowered and inspired. I felt like – I’m not alone. Even if someone might not be in my particular situation, I still knew so many people in the queer community, both people who had been out for years and people who had literally just come out. And I saw so many allies everyone. So I finally felt it was time to be true to myself.
The day after Coming Out Day in 2012, October 12th, I posted on this blog and shared with the world that I was bisexual. It is a decision I will never ever regret and its a decision that I’m proud to have made. I’m proud of my sexuality. I’m proud to be a part of the bi community. I’m proud to be who I am, regardless of who I love. I am proud to fight for bi visibility every day. I’m proud to fight against the stigmas of bisexuality every day.
Coming out isn’t easy. Even though there is a day literally set aside for it, its still not easy. But I did it seven years ago and I have felt so good about it ever since. I’m bisexual. I am in a relationship with a man and have been for nearly three years now. But that doesn’t change who I am. I am bisexual. I see a person and I have the capability to love them, to be attracted to them, regardless if they’re a man or a woman. And I truly love that about myself.
This year, I got my first tattoo to celebrate my pride and my sexuality and I’m so glad that I did. It felt like it was a permanent way of showing people that…this isn’t a phase, this isn’t for attention, this isn’t something flimsy. This is me, forever and always, bisexual and proud.
So today I wish myself a happy 7th anniversary to coming out. Here’s to so many more years of being proud and confident in who I am.